Why is it that we usually wait until we want to sell our house to do the projects we've been talking about for years? Last week the house was painted, today Brad and "Uncle" John Couric cleaned out a lot of the garage, a screen repair company was here to fix leftover damage from hurricane Wilma, and Mom and I (along with a little help from the kids) cleaned the windows inside and out. The house is really starting to shape up...just in time to put it on the market!
I recently was playing "Doctor Kiang" with Levi. This is when he pretends he is his pediatrician, and he checks out Elmo and Abby's (usually unclothed) baby dolls. He likes the ones without clothes because he can put bandaids all over them without any difficulty. When you ask him if he wants a bandaid he always says no. I asked him why and he said..."it hurts!" Meaning in Levi language, it hurts when you take it off...
Sometimes that is what this process of getting ready for Vienna has been like...taking a bandaid off really slowly, instead of just ripping it off so it won't hurt so much! Everyday something reminds us that we are preparing to say goodbye to those we know and love. Last Sunday, it was that my name was taken off the nursery list at church because of all of our upcoming travels, this week it has been all of the work on the house, Thursday it will be the "last" Thanksgiving as we know it for awhile, along with the last Hunter Family Christmas card photo. So many reminders that everything will soon change.
I know change can be good. Usually it produces growth...spiritual and emotional growth. We tend to cry out more to our Savior when we have the "unknown" before us. Unfortunately for me, I have a tendency to fear the unknown. Right now we have a lot of unknowns before us... a lot of BIG unknowns (like when will we raise all of our support, when will we move, where will we live in Vienna or even know for certain where the kids will go to school.) I feel like I can relate to some of the lyrics to the song Wild Horses, by Natasha Bedingfield. She sings that she wants to "face the fear, but not feel scared".
I think it is pretty normal to fear the unknown. Still, I want to learn to move beyond the fear, to draw closer to Jesus. I want to really believe that He knows EVERYTHING and He actually has our well-being in mind, even when circumstances challenge that belief. That's my prayer tonight.