I'm admitting it...

I have a problem...
I am a procrastinator! There, I said it!

I like washing the dishes, but hate putting them away.
I like writing letters and buying gifts for others, but I hate the process of finding the right packaging to put the present in, or finding the right address and then the process of going to the post office in another country is another issue entirely! (Don't ever expect any birthday gifts on time as long as we are living overseas!)

My laundry is no exception. I like washing it, don't mind folding it, but I have a hard time putting it away! Until yesterday, I knew it was a problem-but it wasn't staring me in the face...
Let me explain. After living here for 4 months, yesterday we finally got a mirror for our bathroom. This is not just any mirror. It is a mirror purchased at our neighborhood discount grocery store, Hofer. Why would we purchase a bathroom mirror at a grocery store one might ask? Well, because of this whole procrastination problem.

See, without a car, it makes it difficult to just take public to your favorite store, pick out a mirror and then drag it home on the Strassenbahn..so we have been putting it off. We just happened to find the mirror yesterday, as we were checking out a fish tank in Hofer, and while Brad and I were together (which is an important piece of information in this drawn out story, as we both needed to be there to lug this sucker home!)

Ok, back to the point of this story! Laundry staring me in the face. You see, now when I look in the new mirror, I can't even see my reflection...now all I see is the reflection of the piles of laundry that need to be put away! My procrastination has been exposed!

Don't we all hate to be exposed?!? Far deeper than a silly mirror and a pile of laundry, How I hate to have my sin exposed and how I procrastinate in confessing my doubts, fears and sins to the Lord. Why does something have to stare me in the face before I realize what is happening? I think because I love to be in control, and when I see a struggle (either something little like saying the right thing to the bakery lady or something big like imagining how I'm ever going to share Christ in German), fear and doubt become my tools to get by. The problem, of course, is that God doesn't call me to "get by", but to bring my weakness and doubt and discomfort to Him, and to boldly risk failure because my greatest security and my greatest success are wrapped up in the person and work of Jesus.

Sure I would love to "get over" my doubts and fears. But even more importantly, I want to face up to my doubts and fears right when they begin to surface, so that I can run to Jesus with them and rest in the knowledge of 1 John 1:9, "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." Not just forgive us...but also cleanse us from unrighteousness!

"Thanks, God, not only for a Hofer mirror to see my tendency to procrastinate, but for the many mirrors in my life that expose my 'little' doubting and fearful tendencies that attempt to control me!"

So that's my prayer today. Would you pray this for me as well? (You can leave the Hofer part out!) :)